Michelle was just twelve years old when she was locked away inside a mental health hospital and abused.
Struggling with bullying, trauma, and coming to terms with her Autism diagnosis, Michelle hit breaking point.
She was arrested, taken away from her father and thrown inside a brutal system that would control almost every part of her existence for over eight years. Growing up beneath harsh fluorescent lights and security cameras, her days were ruled by medication, observations, cruelty and abuse. Mobile phones, laptops, staples and even chewing gum was strictly forbidden, so, to cope, Michelle turned to writing.
At age twenty, Michelle was finally released back out into the community, but she was deeply institutionalised, traumatised and angry. She simply coudn't function on the "out". Almost a decade had passed and the world had moved on, whilst she was still stuck in hospital mode.

Things took a turn for the worse.
Michelle experienced homelessness, exploitation, suicide attempts, chilling isolation and even prison. In Leeds, she slept in a hostel room so small she could almost touch both walls at the same time, and inside Newhall Prison, a kettle and a packet of decaffeinated coffee felt like gold dust. She became trapped in a cycle of suicide attempts, hospital beds and prison cells.
But slowly, ever so slowly, Michelle began rebuilding. Through poetry, art, education and sheer determination, she created a wonderful life for herself.
Michelle wrote this memoir to expose what often goes on in mental hospitals, prisons, care homes, and places where people are admitted to recieve treatment and care. She wrote it for autistic children whose distress is mistaken for bad behaviour, for adults haunted by what was done to them in the name of treatment, and for every survivor who was taught that nobody would believe them. She wrote it to raise awareness, challenge attitudes and spark meaningful change.
But most of all, she wrote it to heal.

From The Author:

The devil doesn’t have horns or sharp teeth. It doesn’t wear red or have a pointed tail.
The devil is human.
While locked away in the UK mental health system, I experienced things that are beyond most people’s comprehension.
It taught me that the real demons, the monsters capable of inflicting cruelty beyond imagination, walk among us.
They look just like you and me. Human.
Writing this book has been my lifeline, my way of making sense of the past and finding a path forward.
This is my dark, frightening, absurd, and, at times horrific, story of survival.
I hope it inspires you.
Thanks for reading and never, ever give up.

Peace and Love,
Michelle Torez