Yeah, I know, I kinda suck at updating my blog on a regular basis. I mainly post to Facebook and Twitter so, if your interested in keeping fully up to date, add me/follow me on those!
I'll first talk about the fact that I was interviewed by the lovely girls at The Mental Health Book Club for the latest episode of the podcast series. We discussed a range of topics surrounding crap mental health and support in the UK and they also, kindly reviewed my book 'Broken Doll'. Click below to listen to the podcast that I'm in!
If you would like to read more of the poems discussed here Broken Doll is available to buy here for £1 as an ebook and £5 for a paperback with full page art- https://www.bit.ly/brokendollmt
I also have been accepted for publication again, which is a huge boost to my confidence! My poem 'Cigarette Butts' is going to be featured in the first edition of Silk And Smoke, a poetry and literary magazine.
Click HERE to go to the magazine!
I've also been working on my short story and am really happy to announce that its nearly done!- I will be revealing the official date that it will be available to buy from Amazon and Kindle very soon so either check back here regularly or follow the Twitter or Facebook links above.
I have also, as per usual, been heavily campaigning for better mentalhealth services. I am focused on some serious issues at the moment as follows; firstly, my clinically depressed ex-army father still is receiving no support whatsoever from anybody despite the fact that the private psychologist he is paying a huge amount for has made various recommendations stating that he is high risk of suicide and needs urgent help to his GP and social services. I've also written many letters stating the same thing. Sadly, three months later, nothing has happened apart from the social services turned up to his house, dropped off some leaflets about 'coffee mornings' (he is severely agoraphobic) then left, promptly shutting the case. Great concern they had. I complained about that and didn't get a response. So, after some digging, I've found out that his GP referred him back to the oh so wonderful 'Miranda House' in Hull yet again but there is such a backlog of referrals that they have shut and are not taking on anymore referrals at the moment! When I heard this, the first word out of my mouth was wow! This is bloody dangerous. This Tory government is draining the resources so much they will be nothing left, next they wont even have an office to work from or phones, they will set up a makeshift office in a car park space with a pay as you go mobile, that's the new support centre. It's getting bizarre and past a fucking joke because this is people's lives we are talking about. For every week that goes by due to people being forced to wait due to lack of resources is another week closer to that person's suicide. Now, when I put this fact to the bigwigs a.k.a Funders/Directors in the NHS and people who work for these so called 'crisis teams', they abruptly tell me that 'people have to get support from elsewhere in the meantime while they wait and need to learn to be patient', often hanging up the phone before I rip to shreds that laughable statement. They don't like me, maybe because I tell the truth and aren't spoonfed what to say by the far right. Darlings, if there are other support services, people wouldn't need you lot so much and you wouldn't be shutting due to the backlogs of desperate people being refereed? Duh.... face palm Homer Simpson moment. In all seriousness though, my father has been going round and round in this vicious circle for over ten years, his patience and hope gradually getting eroded away and its so painful and heartbreaking for me as a daughter to have to watch because he doesn't leave the house, he orders all of his food and items online, he has very limited contact with anyone other than myself and also suffers from life threatening physical health conditions which gets no support for. I'm proud of him for holding on so long to be honest. As the psychologist he is paying for says-
'It's heartbreaking, he is such a nice guy that has been let down by the NHS for most of his life. I agree he shouldn't be paying in his dire financial situation, he has obviously fallen through all of the cracks, every door gets shut in his face poor man.'
Is this how this country wants to treat an elderly, disabled ex-army man, who was also a nurse and university lecturer in his younger years? By denying him the care he gave to people earlier on in his life and making him feel like a nuisance for actually wanting support? I keep reminding him of how brave he is to actually ask for help, as men of his generation were brought up to not ask for support as it was seen as 'weak'. The whole thing brings me to tears. The pressure and stress it puts on me is so difficult and, as you may have guesses, I asked for some counselling about this and was told there wasn't a service for that. My eyes roll further back every time these people open their mouths.
What Am I Doing About It?
In the next six weeks or so I am going to be speaking to Emma Hardy, MP for Hull, possibly with the support of his private psychologist (me and her speak regularly) sending a letter to the Health Secretary who is The Rt Hon Matt Hancock MP as well as my father's GP practice manager. I will also be trying to speak to Michele Moran, Chief Executive at Humber NHS Foundation Trust, although those guys are really hard to get hold of. Those guys really don't like me and threatened to have me arrested after I was persisting to speak to them about a matter. Wonder why, maybe they don't like being held accountable for corporate manslaughter and stuff like that? (RIP Sally Mays- www.justice4sal.org) Maybe they are too busy typing letters in fancy fonts to notice what is actually going on. Or, more likely, this vile Tory government has bled the resources dry so much to the point were they don't even have a phone to actually answer anymore. I will also be creating another fundraiser to raise enough funds to ensure my Dad stays in therapy for another three months. I hate having to do this, but it's the situation we've both been left in. My Dad says thank you to everybody that chipped in the last time, I also give a huge thank you as it made such a huge difference! We raised £190 and without this money he may not have gotten anywhere. I am aiming to raise £250 within 8 weeks this time which is equivalent to £30 in donations a week. I will post the fundraiser when it is ready. Also, on the topic of mentalhealth and people being denied help, in the past couple of months I've met some amazing people who have turned into real friends and one a potential girlfriend. Two of these people are paying for their own therapy due to waiting far too long and one person has been abused and completely fucked over by mental health services to the point that they are traumatized, yeah the system is THAT bad, it happens to so many of us it truly shocking.
Back to the nicer stuff, I have also been studying for my Degree and have submitted my final EMA for my university degree. I will hear back in July if I have passed the module or not, but I have very high hopes as I've been getting firsts and distinctions on this one! My highest score so far has been an 87!
I have also been seriously thinking about opening up a gaming channel on Youtube as I really enjoy gaming, I already have loads of footage ready of me playing Vampire The Masquerade-Bloodlines, Half Life 1 and also Enclave but am 50/50 about whether to start this project as I'm not sure I'd have the time to keep up with it.
Lastly, I have been planning my holidays. I am hoping to go to Balloch and Loch Lomand in the Scottish Highlands for 4 days in August then to Venice in Italy for 5 days in October 2020 for my 26th birthday.
Thank you to everyone who reads this! Remember to check back here or my social media links very soon as I will be posting the fundraiser to raise funds for my Dad's counselling as well as copies of the complaints I am going to write to his GP, Miranda House and the Health Secretary, also the petition against the closing of mental health referrals to Miranda House in Hull. I will also be revealing the date that my short story goes live on Amazon and Kindle soon if you like the way that I write aha!
That's everything for now, thank you followers and have a nice night/afternoon/morning!